![a man, woman and child sitting on a couch looking at their cell phones a man, woman and child sitting on a couch looking at their cell phones](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe3a900ac-e362-4058-a127-6e6463bae445_1080x720.png)
The other day my partner and I ran out of the house to catch the 7:05 am bus that gets us to work on time. On the way down the little hill, I slipped my hand into my handbag. Upon finding my phone missing, I thought, “Oh, I left my phone on the dining table. Never mind, I’ve lived without a phone for more than half of my life, everything will be fine. I trust God.” I told my partner I forgot my phone and we left it at that.
When I was about to reach school (my workplace), I felt something hard in my lunch bag that was the size of my phone. I reached in to my bag and found my phone. “Oops, haha. I slipped my phone in my food bag upon leaving in a hurry,” I thought. I quickly sent my partner a message that I have my phone after all. It was about 8:15 am.
While I’m busy at work, running between classes, I have no time to check my phone. My partner is hardly ever far from his. He usually responds pretty quickly, even to the most trivial messages between us.
At 12 noon, which was lunch time, I finally looked at my phone and had heard nothing back from my partner. I looked at his WhatsApp chat last seen time and it said “last seen today at 8:02 am.”
It got me worried. I sent him a message asking if he was okay. Imagine. Had I truly forgotten my phone at home, I would have assumed all was well with him. I would get home and check my messages, if any. And simply having a smartphone on me and seeing the “last seen time” throws me off my center?
Let me illustrate another story for you.
In the summer of 2021, I was at a job interview. It was summer holidays for my son. He called me WHILE I was at the interview that lasted a little over an hour. Of course, my phone was switched off during the interview.
When I turned it back on I saw 50 missed calls. And WhatsApp messages with worried face emojis followed by a shit load of crying emojis! They were from my son! He even messaged my partner asking about my whereabouts which he had never done before. (For context, my son lives with his father, and we meet each other outside or at my place.)
My partner’s mind switched from cool, calm, and collected to overthinking frenzy within a millisecond. He left his work early. He worried the entire journey back home in a taxi, imagining me having a fall at home and lying in a pool of blood when he got back home.
Imagine!
Two of the people whom I love the most, their entire lives turned upside down by the power of the mind fueled and influenced by technology. I had probably informed my partner about my interview, but I forgot to mention the exact time. Maybe he forgot about my interview, too.
Imagine! Once upon a time, people lived without a phone in their house. They used to communicate via letters or telegrams. Today literally every adult owns a phone, but we’ve gone backwards when it comes to communication.
Some people actually prefer texting over calls! Certainly, they wouldn’t have had that luxury of an option back in the Ericsson phone day, right?
Are you looking to reduce your dependence on technology and hence your anxiety? I highly recommend subscribing to After Babel. I also recommend working with a professional if you think you’re addicted to it and your anxiety is out of control.
After Babel is Substack by Professor Jon Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation. He and his team of researchers are tirelessly working toward a play-based childhood and away from the phone-based childhood. Starting today, June 14, 2024, you and your children can join the phone free Friday summer challenge. Read the post below to find out more.
I will continue to keep sharing my personal stories about the ill-effects of over dependence on technology. I’ve also removed Chai from my diet, and I can tell you that my energy levels have gone up and my anxiety levels have dropped. You are the ultimate decision maker of your life. Every decision impacts your mental health. Choose wisely. Take care.
Thank you for reading!
Neha
About Me
I, Neha Sonney, am the author of Wired For Self-Love: 11 Strategies To Free Yourself From Your Past, Embrace Your True Identity & Develop Unshakeable Confidence. I help people be honest with themselves, expand their comfort zones, become the people who love themselves and know how to respect themselves. If you’re considering bringing a real, lasting change in your life, reach out to me at optimysticoachk@gmail.com. Book a consultation here.