The Opposite of Addiction is Connection
Research & Stories: What “Rat Park” Teach Us About Addiction
Smartphones should come with a warning label, just like cigarettes. Do you agree? Are you addicted to your smartphone?
A while ago I conducted an anonymous survey on smartphone usage. 44.4% of the participants thought they were addicted to their smartphones. One participant said, once, for the three days that they didn’t use their phone, they felt relaxed and their mind was free.
Addiction is an adaptation to your environment. Let me repeat that. Addiction is an adaptation to your environment. The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.
Almost everything we think about addiction is wrong.
You get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water. And the other is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drug water and almost always kill itself. Professor Alexander comes along and he looks at this experiment and he noticed something. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. So professor Alexander built a cage that he called rat park. In rat park, they don’t like the drug water. You go from almost a 100% overdose when they’re isolated to zero percent overdose when they have happy and connected lives. A social community beat the power of drugs.
What if addiction is an adaptation to your environment?
Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond. And when we’re happy and healthy, we’ll bond and connect with each other. But if you can’t do that because you’re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief.
The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.
Sheryn Atkinson, a corrections nurse, and had numerous conversations with her patients about their addiction. A majority of them say it stems from abuse, trauma, and neglect, they experienced while growing up and continues due to lack of connection with others and no purpose in life.
Dr. Gabor Matê figured out that addiction is not genetic, it's not a disease, it's a symptom. A symptom of trauma. Trauma literally changes the physiology of our brains and puts us in a state of fight or flight. If trauma goes unhealed, we seek out a way to feel better. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, sex, stealing, etc, are symptoms of unhealed trauma. This is why most people relapse over and over. Drug rehabs focus on just drug use, but don't offer therapy. Mental health facilities focus on mental health, and they often prescribe drugs with little focus on the drug addiction. You have to work on both.
Ashley Lofgreen shares a story. One of her closest friends is a recovering addict riddled with a past filled with trauma and abuse. When she met and introduced her to a community of people who loved and supported her she thrived. However when the pandemic hit and isolation became the normal she went back to drugs. For three years Ashley didn’t know where she was or even if she was alive. “Miraculously our prayers were answered when she showed up on our doorstep a few months ago, 60 days clean”, Ashley says. She’s back in her life and thriving again and on countless occasions has said that with God and the love and support of her friends that keeps her clean.
Ashley suggests to all out there who might find themselves judging an addict, instead take time to ask questions and choose to love and befriend instead. You might find yourself being a part of something actually really beautiful and witness a miracle in their healing and journey to a better life.
I couldn’t agree more. During the pandemic, when I was connecting with people across the globe over Facebook, I used to believe that that connection was real. It wasn’t. The Facebook friends that I’ve never met in real life, and whom I likely will never meet, I have no real connection with them.
I took part in many online group coaching programs over the years, hoping to find the in person connection that was missing in Hong Kong. I couldn’t. I didn’t work because there is no real connection. For connection to happen, we need to meet and interact in person several times. We need communities of like-minded people to thrive in. This wisdom has taken years to dawn on me. And now that it has landed, I’m feeling more connected and supported in the work I want to do.
I believe that the biggest problem with the powerful, ubiquitous psychoactive drugs (meaning those that work on our brains and minds), is that they are so effective. In immediate and powerful ways, they change how we feel, think, relate, and behave. Or transport us away from loneliness and isolation. That is why we use them! Source: Psychiatrictimes.com
Smartphones work on our brains and minds in a similar fashion. They temporarily distract us from our loneliness and isolation. That’s why we use them. I would offer that you connect with people where you live. Believe in your heart that other people also seek to connect. Support your people and seek their support.
I promise you, you’ll find it.
About Me
I, Neha Sonney, am the author of Wired For Self-Love: 11 Strategies To Free Yourself From Your Past, Embrace Your True Identity & Develop Unshakeable Confidence. I help people be honest with themselves, expand their comfort zones, become the people who love themselves and know how to respect themselves. If you’re considering bringing a real, lasting change in your life, reach out to me at optimysticoachk@gmail.com. Book a consultation here.