A month ago I was reading a response from a school mate on my survey on smartphone usage. She shared a hilarious account of dropping her phone in the toilet in the middle of the night when her young daughter was sleeping. Since then she decide to never ever take her phone with her to toilet visits - regardless of the time of the day! Haha!
(Image credit: Image by Alexa from Pixabay)
Okay. We’re all adults in this room. I’ve taken my phone to the toilet. Have you? Have you, like my friend accidentally dropped it in the toilet?
Wait. Don’t worry, you don’t have to answer it unless you want to :p. I have another question for you. If, at some point in life, you found yourself in the gutter… (umm, because sometimes life does that, right?), will you pick yourself up? Clean up your act? Be a better version of yourself?
No one deliberately wants to or plans their life to go down the drain. It’s not your fault, or my fault. So don’t blame yourself. Because there’s no solution in blaming.
However, if there aren’t people hanging out around to help you get back up, then you have to be the only one to do that.
Would you?
Or wouldn’t you?
Because after a while your nose gets used to the smell and the stench doesn’t bother you and things get pretty comfortable down there.. yada yada yada. You’re not happy there. But at least you don’t have to change anything.
Kyler married someone recommended by an elder uncle, a girl whose values did not match his. He’s been married to her for over twenty years now. He likes eating at home. She wants to eat out all the time. He’s hygienic, she isn’t. He loves her. She gives two hoots. They have a daughter who will fly the nest in a year. He would love for them to go to therapy, but she refuses. There is no love in this marriage. No sex. No communication.
Kyler believes that, as a man, he must stick it through till the end of his life, for the sake of his daughter. If he left her mother, he feels that he would let his daughter down. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. Obviously Kyler is in a lot of pain. Unbearable pain.
It feels like being down in the dumps where no one would come to rescue you.
What should Kyler do? Continue living his life in this miserable marriage? Or should he visit prostitutes or have a secret girlfriend to fulfill his sexual needs? Or divorce his wife, and start life from scratch, possibly with someone new? Mind you, he has been out of the dating game.
Where there is no communication, there is no relationship.
Question:
Is Kyler going to flush himself down the toilet, or will he do something to climb out of it?
Self-love is the hardest thing you’re ever going to do . Self-love is not a one time, one-off thing. It’s a day-in day-out, planting seeds, watering the plants in the field, tending to the roots, weeding etc. It’s an endless pursuit to a better you. The one who will not give upon him or herself.
The one who will pick him or herself up out of the toilet. Because he/she believe in themselves.
Join my upcoming event Heal From Childhood Trauma Through Self-love on Monday the 29th of April.