I have a confession to make.
Decaf life is far from easy. I have a confess, some days I cheat and I eat dark chocolate. Please don’t judge me. Today, I came this close to making myself a cup of chai. It’s my go-to comfort drink when I’m on day 2 of my period. All I wanna do is sit on the couch with a hot water bag and be fat and useless.
On my previous (caffeinated) life, I made a concoction of carom seeds (ajwain in Hindi) by boiling them with tea leaves, and then adding milk. It really soothed menstrual cramps.
To the men reading this newsletter, imagine having to go through this every four weeks or so? And being at work or in the middle of a meeting, while feeling warm fluid flow between your legs. Imagine aches in your thighs and lower belly. And then you’re a little more emotional than normal.
Welcome to a woman’s world.
So, yeah. I didn’t make myself that special chai. Instead I had a rooibos version of the same. I’m waiting to see some light a the end of the decaf tunnel.
Discipline. I tell myself. It’s no the first time I’ve put myself through this. But discipline is the only thing that is going to help me see the light at the end of this tunnel. This journey, like any other journey is not linear.
It’s a bit of a dance. It’s a bit of falling down from grace and elegance. It’s a bit of getting back up and dusting my backside off and trusting in that which my human eyes can not see yet.
It’s placing boundaries because I love myself to not consume that which controls me and does unseen damage to my body. I still notice anger and angry thoughts.
I’ve started meditating again. On a Facebook group called “Quitting Caffeine”, there are people who have gone 270 days without caffeine. But they still struggle. Some of them were also addicted to nicotine. Man! That would be tough. Not that I know anything about smoking.
But yeah, I can relate. Cheese is also addictive. I’ve had flu like symptoms from quitting both cheese and caffeine.
I’m on that Facebook group to learn, share and grow. The journey is not an easy one. I know I’m not the only one. I feel less alone, you know?
What hard things have you done in life that few people know about if at all? City life can make you feel rather lonely. I’m here to let you know that you’ll find people who have gone through shit. You’re not alone.
Tell me. Engage with others in the comments. And most importantly, thank you for doing everything you’re doing to make your life better, and serving others.