Women, Wisdom & Beauty

Embracing the chaos because creation is messy. The mess has a message. What it is?

If you’re new here, hi, I’m Neha. Welcome, sit down. I’ll put the kettle on. Do you like chai? Everything about self-love is about being honest with yourself by understanding the wisdom in the body.

Since the last quarter of 2022, I’ve been observing my menstrual cycles. I want to live a more grounded life, slow down because nature doesn’t rush, yet everything is accomplished. I live in the fast paced city of Hong Kong. For a long time I’ve felt as if my being slow as a person was something that needed to be fixed.

I was wrong about that. I didn’t need to be fixed. I needed to learn to love myself even more. I’m done with the pressure to do more in the name of being productive. I want to understand how my energy levels vary as per my monthly cycle. Aside from my part-time job, I schedule my meetings when I’m more outgoing, which is after my period.

I feel we’ve been groomed the wrong way. Think about the things we put in or on our bodies. Being prescribed birth control pills because they keep acne or pregnancy at bay. Fashion deciding and celebrities promoting what is in fashion whether that looks good on us or not. I could go on and on. Personally, I don’t feel comfortable using silicone products in my kitchen or for sanitary care.

Everybody loves to blame, whine and complain over drinks. But that doesn’t solve the problem. I’m going to stay focused on what it is that we can do about it rather than blame.

The question to ask ourselves as women is if we want to rant, complain, just let out some steam, or if there’s a problem and we’re looking for solutions. I get it. There I times when I’m all agitated and talk to my husband. And he’ll start providing solutions. Over the years, I’ve embraced both sides of me - the one who wants to be, and the one who wants to do.

What I mean by that is that when I want to be, I’m okay with whining, being angry or upset, and ranting. I clearly tell my husband, “Right now, I’m not looking for a solution. I want to feel heard. I want to listen to me. That’s all.”

When I’m looking to do something about the problems in my life, I brainstorm with myself as well as my husband. He’s a sounding board. It’s great to be able to talk things through, run my thoughts and ideas by him. I am solution oriented. And these brainstorming sessions do churn out more ideas and somehow i find the solution to the problem.

I’m well aware of neuroticism, that is the trait disposition to experience negative affects, including anger, anxiety, self‐consciousness, irritability, emotional instability, and depression.

Women are higher in trait neuroticism. That because of how we’re wired; there’s nothing wrong or right about it. Our minds can ruminate about a negative incident for days.

I’ll never forget this clip I watched on men’s brains and women’s brains. The speaker uses humor to quite well to drive home important messages.

Men’s brains are different. Men have boxes in their brains, and they can easily put whatever is bothering them in to boxes, close them and go focus on something else.

Women’s brains don’t have boxes. Women’s brains are made up of a big ball of wire, where everything is connected to everything. On an unstructured day, have you ever gone into a room and remembered something and then just because you saw that thing on the table, your day takes this whole other direction? Sometimes this happens when you were doing an activity and your mind gets diverted to something, and then something else, and you forget about why you were in that room in the first place.

We’re build this way for a reason. We don’t bring the same gifts as men. We bring with us our beautiful ability to feel everything, and remember important things. We bring with us our ability to give birth, to nurture, just as men bring with them their ability to provide structure and protection.

After moving to a village house away from the crazy busy city full of skyscrapers, both my husband and I are stepping more powerfully into our essence. And I think that’s beautiful. It was long coming.

I share how our journeys have evolved as a couple, becoming more conscious together as a couple in my other bimonthly newsletter called Conscious Coupling with Tantra.

I think being in touch with our female body provides us the wisdom we need to work with the universe vs against it. Thank you for being who you are.

Recommendation

Ivy-Rose Opal of

The Poetry Nook

just released their first issue of Stanza. I highly recommend you check it out and show your support if you’re looking for prompts, or you want to meet other creatives.

Question

Narcissistic abuse survivors often experience unexplainable pain in their body. I did too. I would walk up in pain doctors didn’t find explanation for and prescribed me NSAIDS! I had to get to the root of this and I didn’t give up until I found the relief I was looking for!

Continuing the theme of body, would you be interested in my insights on chronic pain?

Let me know what resonated with you in this newsletter? Your feedback will help me serve your better.

Thank you.

Neha